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Windy City Times 2016-06-08
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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

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"She's a lucky girl 'cause there's a lot of good-looking guys. If I was gay, I'd be in paradise!"—Bachelorette contestant Daniel Maguire. On the season premiere, Daniel is the guy who was poking male contestants in the belly button, cruising the waiters, stripping down to his underwear to show off his body and then jumping drunkenly in the pool. Kinda sounds like he was in paradise. Maybe If I Was Gay? could be the name of his spin-off.

Many times, people in the public eye use their position as a platform to air dirty laundry. Remember when Donald Trump gave out Lindsey Graham's cellphone number? I was reminded of this while following the evolving story of Ozzy Osbourne cheating on Sharon with a hairdresser. Last week, Kelly Osbourne posted this to her 4 million Twitter followers: "Anyone looking for cheap chunky LOW-lights a blow out and a blowjob call" and added the private phone number of the hairdresser. While most people applauded her for attacking the alleged homewrecker, one person took her to task, saying, "Hate your father not the woman. He did this 2 ur family." Kelly was not having it: "Are you in my family? No you are not you have no idea what she did! So keep ur high-mighty opinions to yourself!" She then added: "My father is almost 70 ever heard of elder abuse?" I must be missing something—how is giving a 70-year-old married man a blow job elder abuse? Maybe she used her teeth!

One of our first stories of 2016 was when police raided the home of Glee star Mark Salling and arrested him for possession of child pornography. Now, five months later, a grand jury has indicted him for receiving and possessing child pornography on his computer and a flash drive. According to the indictment, Salling used the Internet to receive a still image and a video on Dec. 26, 2015. The second count charges him with possessing two videos of child pornography on Dec. 29. Just to be accurate ( and because I know you're wondering ), in both instances, the images were of young girls. In addition to these two instances, reports are circulating that Salling's computer was also found to hold thousands of images of children "significantly younger than 15 or 16 years old." If found guilty, receiving child porn has a minimum sentence of five years in prison.

So now we know what happens if you receive photos of naked, underage youths. But what if you send naked photos of yourself to underage youths? Because that's the charge against Bruce Lanctot, a high school teacher in New Hampshire. It should be noted that Lanctot is not only a teacher, but co-advisor of the Gay Straight Alliance Club. Lanctot is currently on paid administrative leave while the investigation continues.

Allegedly, Lanctot was communicating with several students via the gay hook-up app Grindr. According to reports, all of the alleged "victims" are boys ( well, duh, it's Grindr ), and the youngest is 15 years old. However, if the "victims" are on Grindr, they are looking for sex and open to all sorts of communication—including receiving messages and photos. And, I hasten to add, Grindr does make all users confirm that they are 18 years of age or older. While reports say that the teacher specifically targeted his students, I have yet to hear any evidence of that. Plus, have you looked at some of the profile photos on Grindr? You could be chatting with me and never know it. PHEW!

Last summer, Jake Gyllenhaal flexed his thespianistic muscles in a semi-staged production of Little Shop of Horrors at New York's City Center. Not only did he have a blast, but the sold-out production made oodles of money for Encores!—the group that puts on limited runs of classic shows in semi-staged productions. In an attempt to top himself ( and take a moment to picture that ), Jake has committed to do another show with them. This time, he'll take on Sunday in the Park with George for a single performance on Oct. 24 as a benefit for City Center. The tickets went on sale May 25 at noon and were sold out at 12:40 p.m. Rumor has it that they will be adding at least one more show soon enough, so stay tuned.

Whoopi Goldberg is executive-producing a new show for Oxygen next season. Strut is a reality show about Slay Model Management, the world's first transgender modeling agency. Goldberg stated that we would be surprised how many of the models we see hawking products are transgender. "You may even be surprised to discover that you have been seeing and interacting with transgender men and women in ways you didn't even realize," she said.

A number of you have been asking me if Dancing with the Stars winner Nyle DiMarco is in a relationship. We don't know specifics, but he has been spending a lot of time hiking ( shirtless, naturally ) with Rodiney Santiago—yes, the same Rodiney who appeared on The A List with Reichen. ( Remember Reichen? ) In addition to modeling, Rodiney appears to be available for "private training sessions" and also private Skype calls at the price of $150 for 30 minutes. Anyone surprised he's found a profession where he can charge by the minute? Hands? I'll run some photos of the two ( together and separately ) on .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Patrick in San Diego: "Do you know model Mark Brent? I've heard there are some nude photos of him floating around out there. If anyone can find them, you can."

Much like Lana Turner at the soda counter, Mark Brent was just a normal 18-year-old boy who was discovered in a shopping mall. In the past few years, the fetching fella has been featured in a number of high-profile campaigns for H&M, Calvin Klein, Abercrombie & Fitch, etc. Allegedly, Brent sent out some photos and videos of a very graphic nature. He was smart enough to not show his face. But, alas, his downfall was a distinctive tattoo on his hip. And, as you know what they say—hips don't lie! You can see every inch of Brent on .

When I'm trotting out a reference to Lana Turner, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I think it bears mentioning that while I am willing to bend over backward ( and forward ) for my fans, you must be at least 18 years of age to ride, the site that doesn't have a height restriction. If you have a question for me to tackle, send it along to, and I promise to get back to you before Mark Brent appears in a video with Shakira! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

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